From a young age, specifically infant hood, we wanted. When we wanted we cried creating suffering for ourselves.
If we received what we wanted we would be temporarily pacified. However, with time, we would want again and cry again, restarting the cycle of suffering. If we were not rewarded with the thing we wanted, we cried harder and even harder until we received the thing pacifying our suffering, received punishment increasing our suffering or gave up extending our suffering in time.
The very act of wanting presents stress into life. The fear of not getting. The hope of getting. Emotional tugging of both producing a rollercoaster of feelings. Worst of all, wanting and not getting or just the thought of possibly not getting produces sadness, suffering, jealousy, anger, envy.
It is not wrong to want. It is not wrong to strive to get what you want. How else would anything be obtained? Understanding the desire and knowing why it is there is important. To avoid suffering for a want, one must observe the mind and understand its motivations whether it be for security, jealousy, pleasure, avoidance of pain, etc. Understanding any desire is created to avoid pain or experience pleasure we can observe the minds attempt to protect itself from both failure and disappointment.
After fully observing, one will find an unattachment to the want. They will become free from the emotional response from the want. They will be unattached from the outcome of the want. And that is the ultimate goal; to seek our wants but be emotionally unattached to the outcome of those efforts.
As an infant or child even, we were not capable of understanding the source of our suffering. As adults, we can learn how we perceive our minds. We can witness our thoughts and the emotions tied to them. But very few of us take the time to truly learn who we are.
